author mentor month

Today I’m meant to post my book as a Reddit post. Yep, that sounds like fun, not.

So I’m going to ignore that one and do with something on my to-do-list –

Book Blurb

Am I the only one who hates these and struggles with it? I suspect not, so today I’m posting the blurb for my WIP. It’s probably real bad, so I need feedback folks. Anything is going to be useful.

An arsonist on the loose.  Ghosts of the past resurrected.  An unquenchable desire for revenge.

There’s always a price to pay.

Chad Mitchell has returned to his home town intent on confronting the ghosts of his past, and if he’s not careful everything will go up in flames.

Lacey Phillips is under investigation, she’s flouting the rules, intent on extracting her revenge.

Sometimes you meet your perfect partner at the wrong time.  Sometimes the blood on your hands can’t be erased.  Sometimes it becomes a matter of life or death.

Burn Over

Let me know what you think below, and I mean honestly. Don’t be concerned if its pretty negative, its better for me to hear now before I go and print 100 copies.

And if you have a blurb you want to try out, there’s the comments or a post pingback.

© NopeNotPam

4 thoughts on “author mentor month

  1. Your comment on my other post reminded me that I bookmarked this so I could comment.

    It has potential but I think it needs a little tweaking to tighten it up.

    “Ghosts of the past” is said twice, so I’d pick one instance and delete the other. This will force you to be more specific. The phrase is a little vague so I’d try and make it hint about the particular type of ghost.

    I’m torn on whether you should delete “There’s always a price to pay” or not. I’m leaning towards delete because desire for revenge implies someone is going to pay.

    The bit about Lacey is a little vague too and the grammar isn’t quite there. You could say “Under investigation, Lacey Philips is flouting the rules, intent on extracting her revenge.”

    The phrase “Sometimes the blood on your hands can’t be erased” is a bit of a mixed-metaphor. You don’t really erase blood.

    The phrase “Sometimes it becomes a matter of life or death” is also rather generic. I’d eliminate it in favor of something more related

    All in all, I’d say it just needs more specificity to the story itself. If you replace the more generic stuff with images that evoke arson and romance and whatever else is going on in there, I know you can increase interest in it for when people browse. I hope you don’t think I’m excessively nitpicky, I’m just trying to help clear the way for your work to shine. I can get a sense of two people colliding against the backdrop of revenge and arson. You just need to provide some more detail to grab the readers.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s